The Chronicles of Kellin Todd: Book I
by savagebarbarian
Summary: She was not just beautiful. She was the stars, the moon, the ocean. She was the gravity that held me to the planet, the medication that sedated my depression. She was my happy pill, my muse, my reason for being. She was mine. OC/HG M for some disturbing sexual content and language, alcohol and pervasive drug content and use. Reader discretion advised. TRIGGER WARNING


"Claude, are we there yet?" Lily asked impatiently as we pulled into the parking lot of King's Cross.

He pointed out the window and said, "What does it look like?"

Lily and Isobela started yelling and clapping in joy, while Dario mimicked their claps with his chubby toddler hands.

We all got out of the car, and with Dario in Claude's arms, the girls decided to help me with my luggage. It was too big for little Isobela but I smiled at her for trying.

"We're going to miss you a lot, y'know. Especially me. Who am I going to talk to about bands all day with?" Lily asked me.

I smiled. "You can write me all the time. And I can come visit for Thanksgiving and Christmas. I'll be back before you know it. Just keep focused on school for me, okay? You have one more year left until you can come to Hogwarts."

"I know. But I am so sick of all the Muggle kids. They give me headaches. Smuggle me in, please."

I laughed. "Um. No. That's not going to happen."

We loaded my stuff on the trolley, and walked down the station until we reached Platform 9¾.

"Are you ready?" Claude asked as I got in place.

I nodded. And then we all took off towards the large, brick column.

On the other side, many witches and wizards were bustling about, loading the bright red train. As we were passing many students that I recognized, Lily cleared her throat.

"There's your lady," she said, pointing at the most beautiful girl I had ever seen. Hermione Granger. I had gained a large crush on her my first year at Hogwarts, but, unfortunately, she is unaware of my existence.

"She's not mine, Lily. And she won't ever be." I replied dully.

"Maybe if you _talked_ to her, she'd know you were alive. I've seen it. But you know that my visions can change, so you may want to man up and talk to her this year." She gave me the look she always gives me when she knows she's right. I knew she was, as well; but it was harder than you think, to just walk up to a girl you've practically been in love with for over two years and strike up conversation.

"You will talk to her. But you'll be extremely shy and you're going to stutter and apologize. But she will be less likely to talk to you considering you're of Slytherin House. But she will see you're not as crude as the others. So just stay calm. She's just a girl. And girls love for a boy to make the first move."

I looked at her. "And just how do you know that, Lily?"

She gave me the finger and said, "Just trying to help. But maybe you can practice your telepathy on Hermione. You know, see what she likes and what she doesn't. It'll give you a head start."

I nodded and gave her thanks as I hugged her.

"Yeah, yeah. I'm the shit, I know."

"Lily, your language," Claude scolded.

She threw her hands up, "My bad."

I sighed. Hermione could never like me anyways. It's not like I was a real boy. Yes, I identified as male, but I had enough trouble in relationships as it was.

And, as if _he_ was a mind reader, Claude pat me on the shoulder, "If she cannot love you for you, she's not the one. That goes for _anyone_ and _everyone_."

After we gave our goodbyes, I tried to find a seat in a compartment but no one would let me sit with them. I figured it was the nasty scar on my left temple. It's a perfect crescent shape. It's slim, but extremely noticeable. I sulked down each House's car, and then a voice called out at me.

"Need a seat, mate?" I turned around to see Ron Weasley, a boy in my year, peeking out of a compartment. I knew him and Hermione, as well as Harry Potter, were best friends. Being in close proximity of Hermione could send me into a state of nervousness.

I shook my head, "I'm fine, thanks."

"Suit yourself," he said rather rudely.

"Oh, Ronald. Honestly," I heard a sweet voice say, then Hermione Granger's face appear from the compartment door. "Would you like to sit with us? Don't mind Ron. He's just woken up and he's a tad grumpy."

I chuckled. "I.. I mean - I guess.. I guess I can sit with you."

She smiled and waved me over.

I smiled back and walked towards her. I sat down next to Ron who gave me a look but closed his eyes and rest his head against the glass window. A man was sitting opposite him, but his face was covered from the nose down. He was sound asleep. Hermione sat opposite of me, by Harry.

"I'm Harry. Harry Potter. That's Ron Weasley. And this is..-"

"I'm Hermione Granger," Hermione said, sticking out her hand.

"I'm Kellin Valentine." I said as I shook her hand, blushing.

"Bloody Hell! Your Claude Valentine's younger brother, aren't you?" Ron shot straight up.

"Y.. Yes, I am." I replied. Everyone knew my brother. He was one of the best Seekers for Gryffindor while at Hogwarts.

"Wicked! I heard he got many offers from loads of professional Quidditch teams!" Ronald exclaimed

I nodded. "Yes, but he declined them." After our parents died, he decided to take care of my siblings and I. We both had to get part-time jobs. He worked mornings, and I worked nights. We made enough to pay rent and keep food on the table. That was what I wanted to say . But I wasn't looking for a pity party.

It was silent. Then Hermione spoke up.

"I haven't seen you around before. Why might that be?"

I shrugged. "I keep to myself. I don't really go to Quidditch matches. Even though my family is a big supporter of the sport, it's not exactly my hobby. And, even though I am part of Slytherin House, I have a separate chamber for personal reasons. Believe me, it's not as great as it sounds."

"You don't like Quidditch? Are you _sure_ you're a wizard?"

"Ronald! Don't be rude." Hermione scolded. "I'm truly sorry about him. He's a big fan of Quidditch. So you say you're in Slytherin? We don't really trust the likes of them. But, you seem all right."

"I know of Quidditch, and I know strategies and secret moves. But it's not for me. I prefer individual activities. And thank you. It's nice for someone to notice I'm not like them." I replied.

Harry tilted his head at me, "Are you hinting at you don't have any friends?"

I nodded and said, "If you mean other than my drudge, no." I regretted saying that.

"Your what?" Ron said, obviously confused.

"Uh, n-nothing. I mean, uh... my ferret. His name is Todd."

The two boys looked at me in an odd fashion, but Hermione seemed very intrigued. "You have a ferret? Did you get his glands removed?"

I shook my head. "No, he is an Evolution ferret. You know. Smaller than normal. Changes his fur color and natural aroma to suit the seasons."

"Oh my goodness, may I see him?" She asked excitedly.

I chuckled and nodded, "Yes, of course. I'll need to go fetch him, though. He's in his cage."

I exited the compartment and found my way back to the Slytherin luggage car. I sought out my furry friend, and we was absolutely excited to be freed from his cage. His thoughts came into my head.

_That damned metal contraption is down right ghastly. And it smells horrid._

I laughed. "You won't have to be stuck in it any longer. As long as we don't have any trouble like last year."

_I told you already! That damned spider had it coming._

"Just be polite when we get back to the compartment. Hermione wants to see you. She seems extremely fascinated with you at the moment and she hasn't even met you."

He chuckled. _I'll do my best to impress._

He wrapped his light gold body around the back of my neck and sat up on my shoulder. The smell of lilac and cherry blossoms was beginning to fade from his silky coat, and would soon be replaced by pumpkin spice and cinnamon. Along with a more reddish-orange tint to his fur.

When I opened the compartment door, he immediately leaped onto Hermione's lap. She began to giggle as he tickled her neck with his whiskers.

"He's got quite the spirit." She said with a big smile on her face.

Harry was laughing as Todd jumped up and began nibbling at his ear. "I'll second on that!"

As Harry began to play with Todd, feeding him chocolate for his performances, Hermione struck up conversation.

"How was your summer, Kellin?"

I shrugged my shoulders. "It was the same as every other summer. How about you? Did you enjoy yourself?"

She nodded, "Yes, I did. Thank you for asking."

"No problem. Do you have siblings?" I asked her.

"No," she said, shaking her head. "I'm an only child. But that's quite alright. I have plenty of friends in my neighborhood. I'm not very lonely. Do you have any? Besides Claude, of course."

I smiled, "Yes. Yes, I do. Three of them, in fact. There's Lily, who is ten; Isobela, who is five. Then there's Dario, who just turned three."

She smiled back at me and said, "Your face lights up when you talk about your family. You're very compassionate, I can see that. It's very admirable."

My face was on fire. "Thank you. That means a lot coming from you, Hermione."

"You're very welcome, Kellin." She replied. "What elective courses are you taking this year?"

"I think I'm taking Care of Magical Creatures and Divination."

She huffed. "I heard Professor Trelawny is a nut."

Laughing, I replied, "That, I have heard too many times to count."

"Guys, do you think he's really asleep?" Harry asked, inspecting Mr. Lupin.

"He seems like it." I replied.

"He sleeps about like Ronald," Hermione spit out.

"Hey. I enjoy sleeping. It's one of my favorite hobbies." Ron muttered, peering up from his book.

The rain thickened as the train sped yet farther north; the windows were now a solid, shimmering gray, which gradually darkened until lanterns flickered into life all along the corridors and over the luggage racks. The train rattled, the rain hammered, the wind roared, but still, Professor Lupin slept.

"We must be nearly there," said Ron, leaning forward to look at the now completely black window.

The words had hardly left him when the train started to slow down.

"Great," said Ron, trying to see outside. "I'm starving. I want to get to the feast."

"We can't be there yet," said Hermione, checking her watch.

"So why're we stopping?" I asked.

The train was getting slower and slower. As the noise of the pistons fell away, the wind and rain sounded louder than ever against the windows.

Harry, who was nearest the door, got up to look into the corridor.

The train came to a stop with a jolt, and distant thuds and bangs told us that luggage had fallen out of the racks. Then, without warning, all the lamps went out and we were plunged into total darkness.

"What's going on?" said Ron's voice from behind Harry.

"Ouch!" gasped Hermione. "Ron, that was my foot!"

I was up and looking into blackness, hoping not to step or bump anybody.

"D'you think we've broken down?"

"Dunno..."

There was a squeaking sound, and I saw the dim black outline of Ron, wiping a patch clean on the window and peering out.

"There's something moving out there," Ron said. "I think people are coming aboard..."

Professor Lupin appeared to have finally awoke. We could hear movements in his corner. None of us spoke.

There was a soft, crackling noise, and a shivering light filled the compartment. Professor Lupin appeared to beholding a handful of flames. They illuminated his tired, gray face, but his eyes looked alert and wary.

Many thoughts were scrolling through my head. They weren't just mine. They were Harry's, Ron's, Hermione's and a few other's whom I did not recognize. I was beginning to gather a large headache.

"Stay where you are," Professor Lupin said in a hoarse voice, and he got slowly to his feet with his handful of fire held out in front of him.

But the door slid open slowly before Lupin could reach it.

Standing in the doorway, illuminated by the shivering flames in Lupin's hand, was a cloaked figure that towered to the ceiling. Its face was completely hidden beneath its hood. My eyes darted down, and what I saw made my stomach contract. There was a hand protruding from the cloak and it was glistening, grayish, slimy-looking, and scabbed, like something that had decayed in water...

But it was visible for only a split second. As though the creature beneath the cloak sensed my gaze, the hand was suddenly withdrawn into the folds of its black cloak.

And then the thing beneath the hood, whatever it was, drew a slow, long, rattling breath, as though it were trying to suck something more than the air from its surroundings.

An intense cold swept over us all. I felt my breath catch in my chest. The cold went deeper than my skin. It was inside my chest, it was inside my very heart...

My eyes rolled up into my head, there was no stopping it. I couldn't see. I was drowning in cold. There was a rushing in my ear much like water. I was being dragged down, the roaring growing louder...

And then, from far away, I heard screaming. Terrible, terrified, pleading screams I wanted to help whoever it was, I tried to move my arms, but couldn't...a thick white fog was swirling around me, inside me -

"Kellin! Kellin! Are you alright?"

Someone was slapping my face.

"W-what?"

I opened my eyes; there were lanterns above me, and the floor was shaking - the Hogwarts Express was moving again and the lights had come back on. I seemed to have slid out of my seat onto the floor. Ron, Harry and Hermione were kneeling next to me, and above them I could see Neville Longbottom and Professor Lupin watching. I felt very sick; when I put up my hand to rub a sore spot on the back of my head, I felt a cold sweat on my scalp.

Harry and Hermione heaved me back into my seat.

"Are you okay?" Harry asked nervously.

"Yeah," I said, looking quickly toward the door. "What happened? Where's that - that _thing_? It was a dementor, wasn't it? Who screamed?"

"No one screamed," Hermione replied, more nervously than Harry.

I looked around the bright compartment. Ginny Weasley, Ron's younger sister, and Neville looked back at me, both very pale.

"But... I heard screaming -"

A loud snap made us all jump. Professor Lupin was breaking an enormous slab of chocolate into pieces.

"Here," he said, handing me a particularly large piece. "Eat it. It'll help."

I took the chocolate but didn't eat it.

"That was a dementor...wasn't it?" I asked Lupin.

"Yes," said Lupin, who was now giving chocolate to everyone else. "One of the dementors of Azkaban.

Everyone stared at him. Professor Lupin crumpled up the empty chocolate wrapper and put it in his pocket.

"Eat," he repeated. "It'll help. I need to speak to the driver, excuse me..."

He strolled past me and disappeared into the corridor.

"Are you sure you're okay, Kellin?" said Hermione, watching me anxiously.

"I don't get it... What happened?" I said, wiping sweat from my forehead.

"Well - that thing -the dementor - stood there and looked around (I mean, I think it did, I couldn't see it's face) - and you - you -"

"I thought you were having a fit or something," said Ron, who still looked scared. "You went sort of rigid and fell out of your seat and started twitching -"

"And Professor Lupin stepped over you, and walked toward the dementor, and pulled out his wand," said Hermione," and he said, 'None of us is hiding Sirius Black under our cloaks. Go.' But the dementor didn't move, so Lupin muttered something, and a silvery

thing shot out of his wand at it, and it turned around and sort of glided away..."

"It was horrible," said Neville, in a higher voice than usual. "Did you feel how cold it got when it came in?"

"I felt weird," said Ron, shifting his shoulders uncomfortably. "Like I'd never be cheerful again..."

"Neville? Ginny? When did you two get here? Where's Todd?" I asked the pair.

Ginny replied, "Me and Neville were in the corridor and saw it happen. We rushed to you when the dementor left. I found Todd and I put him back in his cage and came back."

"We'll be at Hogwarts in ten minutes," Lupin's voice came from the doorway. "Are you all right, Kellin?"

I didn't know how the Professor knew my name.

"Fine," I muttered, a tad bit embarrassed.

The door into the Great Hall stood open on the right; I followed the crowd toward it, but barely glimpsed the enchanted ceiling, which was black and cloudy tonight, when a voice called, "Valentine! Granger! I want to see you both!"

We both turned around, surprised. Professor McGonagall, Transfiguration teacher and head of Gryffindor House, was calling over the heads of the crowd. She was a stern-looking witch who wore her hair in a tight bun; she sharp eyes were framed with square spectacles. I fought my way over to her with a feeling of foreboding: Professor McGonagall had a way of making me feel I must have done something wrong.

"There's no need to look so worried - I just want a word in my office," she told us. "Mr. Potter, Mr. Weasley, move along there."

The two boys stared as Professor McGonagall ushered Hermione and I away from the chattering crowd; we accompanied her across the entrance hall, up the marble staircase, and along a corridor.

Once we were in her office, a small room with a large, welcoming fire, Professor McGonagall motioned the two of us to sit down. She settled herself behind her desk and said abruptly, "Professor Lupin sent an owl ahead to say that you were taken ill on the train, Valentine."

Before I could reply, there was a soft knock on the door and Madam Pomfrey, the nurse, came bustling in.

I felt myself going red in the face. It was bad enough that I'd passed out, or whatever I had done, without everyone making all this fuss

"I'm fine," I said, "I don't need anything -"

"Oh, it's you, is it?" said Madam Pomfrey, ignoring this and bending down to stare closely at me. "I suppose you've been doing something dangerous again?".

"It was a dementor, Poppy," said Professor McGonagall.

They exchanged a dark look, and Madam Pomfrey clucked disapprovingly.

"Setting dementors around a school," she muttered, pushing back my curly black hair and feeling my forehead. "He won't be the last one who collapses. Yes, he's all clammy. Terrible things, they are, and the effect they have on people who are already delicate -"

"I'm not delicate!" I said crossly.

"Of course you're not," said Madam Pomfrey absent mindedly, now taking my pulse.

"What does he need?" said Professor McGonagall crisply. "Bed rest? Should he perhaps spend tonight in the hospital wing?"

"I'm _fine_!" I said, jumping up. "Professor McGonagall, please, I really am fine."

"If you're sure, then all we can do is let you go on. I wanted to bring up something else with you. Unless you're comfortable with it, would you like for Hermione to wait outside? Madam Pomfrey, your services are no longer needed. Thank you." The nurse left.

I swallowed. "Yes, please."

Hermione walked out of the office sullenly, and at that point, I felt horrible about keeping this from her. But we had only just met, and I wasn't _that_ comfortable with her yet.

"Mr. Valentine, I received word from your older brother that, after your second year ended, you began your hormone replacement treatment."

"Yes," I replied, nodding. "And I feel tons more comfortable with myself. My body has become more masculine, and my voice has deepened. My breasts were magically removed and a "down there" reconstruction was done. Magically, as well, of course. I don't trust Muggle workings."

She was smiling at me. It was a genuine smile. "Oh, Kellin. I am so happy for you. Even though you're not in my House, you are one of my favorite students. You'll be housing in the added on room of the Astronomy Tower, am I correct?"

"Yes ma'am."

"I'll see to it that your luggage is brought up. Would you mind telling Ms. Granger to come in on your way out?"

I nodded and exited the office. Hermione sat in a desk, her face buried in a book.

"Professor McGonagall would like to speak to you now, Ms. Granger." I said, flashing her a smile.

I was almost certain she had blushed, but I shook it off when she said, "Thank you. Did you get it all sorted out, then?"

"Yes, I did. I'll see you at dinner?"

She pursed her lips. "Would you mind waiting on me? I don't like walking the halls alone anymore."

"Oh, yeah... Last year. Of course I will."

She _definitely_ blushed. "Thank you, Kellin. I won't be long."

"I'll just wait here!" I called out to her as she was closing the door. I heard a giggle.

A couple minutes later and she bounced out of the office rather fanatically. I stuffed my hands into my front pockets.

"Happy, are we? Good news, I presume."

Hermione grinned at me. "Oh yes. Good news, indeed."

We walked to the Great Hall, chatting about our goals for the school year. At this point of vulnerability, I tried to reach into her mind. It wasn't too difficult. She wasn't trying to shield me.

_I hope we have roast._

_I can see already that Divination is going to be dreadful._

_What was that spell to tame your hair? I always forget that one._

I smiled to myself. But then that smile faded. "Hermione, do you believe all Slytherins are destined to be evil?"

She looked down at her shoes, "No. No, I don't. It's like saying all Ravenclaws will grow up to be geniuses. Or that all Muggles are average. It's a stereotype. I don't think _you_ will be like that. But I know of a select few who are already there." She sneered.

I turned my body to her while walking, my hands in my pockets. "Are you talking about Draco?"

After she nodded, I replied, "He does that for the attention. It's not right, of course. But still."

She just shrugged her shoulders.

We said our goodbyes when we entered the Great Hall and found a seat by our friends at our tables.

I sat by a boy named Archie Stephens. He was a bit like me. We weren't exactly friends; we just kept each other company, and made small talk now and then. I had missed the Sorting, and he informed me that we had seven new students in our House. Just as he was about to point them out, I felt a tap on my shoulder.

I looked up and seen a girl from my house: Pansy Parkinson. I heard she was infatuated with Draco Malfoy.

"Hi. You're Kellin Valentine, right? I'm Pansy Parkinson. I just wanted to tell you that the summer has treated you well. You're looking rather dashing this year."

I swallowed hard and said, "Um, thanks?"

She batted her eyelashes at me and flipped her hair. "We should study together sometime. I'd like to get to know you."

"Um, okay." I looked her up and down with an uncomfortable smile on my face.

"Great!" She replied, skipping back to her seat with the other Slytherin girls. They all looked at me and giggled. I blushed but wasn't interested.

After the Start-of-Term Feast ended, we were all sent to our dormitories. Everyone left the Great Hall, except for me. Dumbledore had pulled me aside after most of the students had left.

"You know, Kellin. The state of your being is not one particularly celebrated here at Hogwarts. I must remind you the seriousness of your condition. You do not feed on school grounds, and you must keep a low profile. If the word of what you are were to get into the wrong mind, the consequences may be too ghastly to comprehend. Do I make myself clear, Kellin?"

I nodded sadly. Another year of secrets, solitude and stagnation. "Yes, Professor. I understand. Is my feeding route still the same as last year?"

He rest his hand on my broadened shoulder. "I'm afraid some changes have been made. There will be no more hunting in the Forbidden Forest. Professor Snape, Professor McGonagall and myself have all decided it is best for you to hunt in the mountains that surround the Black Lake.

"If, for any reason, you have troubles in the area, do not hesitate to contact one of the head Professors. We care about you dearly, Kellin; as we do all of our students."

"I know, Professor. Thank you. I'll be heading up to my room now." I replied, turning on my heels and vacating the Great Hall.

It took about five minutes to walk about the castle and up to the Astronomy tower. My room was an added segment of the tower near the very top, originally built for holding large telescopes and constellation tables. It had been cleared out my first year, for the vampire and transgender ordeal.

The solid, artisan-crafted wrought iron door was as large as ever. It opened silently and with ease, however. The room was quite large and round in shape. It had it's own lavatory - complete with a couple's shower for some odd reason and a large, in-ground bathtub - and hearth. A walk-in closet was built into the bathroom, and a marble fountain in the wall. Bay windows were on the west side of the tower, overlooking the Black Lake. The walls were black, with golden draperies over the windows. Chestnut in color, the bookcase was the height of the wall with a ladder attached. The bed was a king size, with black sheets that had golden lining, and golden curtains could be pulled around for unneeded privacy.

It was a luxury to behold, but it didn't take away the loneliness. I figured that was the school's purpose in the room. My things had been brought up, and I began unpacking. I let Todd out of his cage and he sprinted with his small legs across the wood floor and bounded onto the bed. I smiled as I began putting my medications up in the medicine cabinet above the sink in the bathroom. The orange bottles were my life; they each had their own little purpose.

I popped three Valiums and swallowed. I was so used to it, I never needed water.

I shut the bathroom door and began to undress. Turning on the water to the shower, I stepped in and let the warmth run down my body. I ran my hand down my chest. It made me happy. No breasts. It was getting a bit chiseled. My hand went lower, to the two long scars on my hips; they took out my female reproductive organs, as well. I inhaled sharply as my hand went lower and ran lightly over my penis. It felt so good to be in the body I had craved for so long.

I had never done this before, because the pain from touching it had recently faded. But I wanted to feel it. I ran my hand up the shaft and to the head. I shuddered and ran it back down to the base. God. It felt good. I began to go up and down, and I was already rock solid. Looking down, I saw that, for a thirteen year old, I had a nice package. My toes began to scrunch up as I pumped faster and faster, a pleasurable tingling spreading through my entire body. My breathing was becoming hitched and I went even faster; my moans were overpowering the patter of the water. Then, it happened. My eyes closed, I saw bright lights, and my body shivered. I opened my eyes and looked down. The penis had gone limp in my hand and a white liquid twisted down the drain.

I wiped my face on the white towel and looked in the mirror at myself. I looked different. My eyes were brighter than usual. They were now a bright gold instead of the fiery amber. My facial features looked more relaxed. However, the black bags were still present under my eyes.

I didn't bother dressing. After my surgeries, I was more comfortable with my body, if you exclude my disgust for the hideous scars that painted my skin. The white lines covered my arms, stomach, legs and sides. But I pushed them out of my mind. It was just me, and no one else knew about them. I was safe in my own little world, and with that, I fell asleep.


End file.
